It's crazy. Indescribable. I'll lie awake at night, thinkin' about your sweet face. I'm not with you right now and it kills. When I feel like I've been through the worst, all I need is your understanding, & to hear you say you'd do anything to be with me. I've never had this incredible feeling before. It's torture without the simple ability to see you, and feel your gorgeous heart. So much I haven't yet learned about you; but looking into those beautiful eyes, it doesn't matter to me anymore, babe I know you already.
I don't fit anywhere except in those arms & those are the moments that slip away way too fast. Whatever the future holds, I hope it holds you holding' me. No one could ever break us up, and if I'm dreaming I hope they never wake us up.
Baby I know it hasn't been that long but I'm already so into you. Forbidden love is what lasts, 'cause they just have to take the risk of putting their gut in front of what everyone else thinks. It's just that simple ; You make me the happiest girl. I wish to be living in this moment, if it means that you're in it.
You're not the breath I breathe, just the sweet scent that I enjoy. You're not the blood in my veins, just what makes it burn so sweetly.
Time is slipping by so slowly, in a world unknown to me previously. In a galaxy that takes me to a feeling of sheer terror, my mind is skidding away from me; there is nothing I can do about it. Around me is the faint whisper of laughs I can't grasp. The sound of everything around me is magnified. Heart popping out of my chest, I gasp for air. Where am I? The same question reappearing in the back of my mind, that can't be put away. I open my eyes to improve my gaze; the lights are spinning around me, moving around in an uncontrolled fashion. The people are looking, wondering. I sense that they can see through my thoughts, but they can't ease the pain. I can fake a smile but the truth inside of me won't allow it. I don't want people to know, I can't let people know. I'm screaming for release inside. I want to be left alone, but comforted. Assured that I'm okay, a remedy for the situation. I feel trapped in darkness, seeping through the holes of sinister eternity. Darkness understood by me, and only me. I'm isolated. The words inside of my head are outrageously loud, they dominate me, and I fear the words. Where am I? What am I feeling? I cling for security and of sanity, but it's too far out of reach. I'm whisked away by the tide of paranoia. Puzzling nonsense clouds my mind. Closing my eyes won't improve, as what I see is not with the eyes but with the mind. A mind that is not my own. I truly don't know where I am. My soul resigns here, I'm in a new world now. Anxiousness seizes my soul now, and with every second that trickles by, I sense an hour of terror. No one understands around me, “nothing is happening,” I hear ringing in my ears. I know I don't believe those words, when I feel the contrary of nothing. The feeling is a forceful pressure on my soul, who only wants be released. I suffer everything magnified, exemplified, fortified! Nothing makes sense; no sensible thoughts enter my sick mind. “Trick yourself” I tell myself, “convince yourself you're okay.” I laugh mechanically along to what I know is supposed to be funny, but isn't. It's unbearable, when my mind shifts from reality back to utter fear. Movements are like a funhouse, moving side to side, but this time it won't end when I want it to. On odd occasions, things slow down, just to speed back up again with bewilderment. To not understand what's going on would be an understatement. I am completely desperate, and force a sense of sanity on myself. I want to sleep it away, take this feeling away. Thought patterns sway back and forth, and are never ending. The moments where my life is still, even for a couple seconds, are complete bliss. I can force happiness into my mind with more ease. I can see clearer, but my mind is still a battlefield. The scariest of thoughts still enter my mind. My body aches, I have no idea what is going on in my life. I feel caught, claustrophobic, and insane. Beat of my heart so out of control and intensely quick, I deeply inhale and exhale. I'm not me. ---